Email #3 2009
Hello everyone!
Bet that subject matter got your attention...just one more of those interesting facts of ocean swimming that are being revealed to me...but more on that later! The countdown is on - just over three weeks to go to the Cole Classic when the elite of ocean swimming...and the not-so-elite will take to the sand and launch themselves into the fray.
With the frenetic christmas period over, it is time for the next instalment in my gripping struggle to attain that unreachable goal....okay, okay, getting carried away! Good news firstly - thanks to the many generous recipients of this email I have reached my minimum commitment of $1250....YEAH! For my efforts (and yours), I am now the proud owner of a fancy pair of Cantoo swimming togs - Orange (naturally) and black with plenty of Cantoo branding on the front and posterior which is only fair enough. Now, this wouldn't be any fun if there was no background to the cossie which I know you will ALL want to hear...so here goes!
On the Saturday of the week I hit my "fundraising star" target I was given a clear plastic bag containing my special cossie (a special cossie for a special person :)). As you can imagine, once home I jumped into the shower (refer previous emails for what I wash off aside from sand!!) and then made the dash into the bedroom to excitedly pull on my new cossie and get a look at my Cantoo majesty in the wardrobe mirror. Picture me, ripping the plastic bag off and pulling out my little bundle of lycra only to unveil........................... A PAIR OF MEN'S BUDGIE SMUGGLERS!!!
Now, I wouldn't be holding up the stereotypee of the irreverant ocker Aussie if I didn't take this opportunity to conduct some cultural education for all those recipients of this email NOT from our sunburnt shores....so FYI, the item that I was given is also variously known by the idioms "dick stickers"..."banana hammock"...or "slug huggers". Bottom line (excuse the pun) is that I had been inadvertantly given a pair of MEN'S speedos!!! Whilst I often think that my BMI (translation = basal metabolic index for the non-diet savvy of you) should be calculated on a MALE bone structure as I am completely screwed by my "heavy bones" as my mother fondly referred to them as, a pair of male speedos would do very little to corral those generous "gifts" from the boob fairy that were so kindly bestowed on me....I may have been loitering at the shallow end of the gene pool when they handed out light bones but I was swimming in the depths when they moved on to the mammary glands!! Consequently, men's speedos wouldn't be a good look...not on a thin day, not on a "I haven't eaten carbs in a decade" day and certainly not on a "three children later and those scales are definitely faulty" day!
Some of my humorous Cantoo cohorts asked if I tried them on at least..........aaah....NO! I just put them back in their little baggie and sent a VERY diplomatic email to our team captain suggesting there had been a mix-up (are you all surprised I COULD be tactful and diplomatic????).
Anyway, I was eventually given a swap and opened them in front of an audience of fellow participants who all wanted to check I'd finally got the correct pair! (Clarification from final proof-read of this email, that's "open" NOT tried on in front of fellow participants!!!) In the spirit of a superhero, the power of the lycra convinced me that I should see where all this training has got me and challenge myself to a "trial" swim prior to the Cole....so on Sunday, I took my place on the starting line (or actually a little ways behind it) at the North Bondi Roughwater 1km Ocean Swim...impressive title eh? The water was actually anything but rough, it was a beautiful morning, clear blue skies and crystal clear water...at least until we got past the first boooey (as they call them) and then it changed to a bit of "chop" (ocean swimming parlance for windy, bit of up and downy water, making it hard to breathey and making you a bit sea sickey!). That being said, I felt fantastic as I steadily made my way around the course and having decided to give it my all, actually RAN out of the water and across the finish line!!!! All jokes aside, if you want to learn the tricks of ocean swimming such as sighting landmarks, stroke technique etc then Cantoo trains you VERY well! As preparation for the 2km Cole Classic, it was a fantastic trial run and I was very pleased with myself...my cheer squad of Mike and the girls were suitable impressed too!
Now, I was going to educate you all on Sea Lice, but I've exhausted myself (and probably you) with all those images of my boobs, so I think I'll save the sea lice for another email!!!!
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